A small group activity is a short exercise with a stated goal, a set time and set materials, that prepares the group for the lesson or for the moment the meeting calls for.
Here are the ones we recommend, sorted by the moment of the group, and the ones we do not recommend, with the reason.
Each collection brings only what works in that moment, and explains what changes.
Three to start, one for each moment of the group. Each with time, materials, step by step and wrap-up.
An empty chair in the circle, a question about whoever is no longer there, and a prayer for whoever is still to come.
Format: in person Group moment: still getting to know each other Open the activity ActivityA light question and a deeper one, in the same round. The meeting happens in the second answer.
Format: in person or online Group moment: already close Open the activity ActivityEach person hears how they come across to the group, and finds out whether that is really them or just the part they play.
Format: in person or online Group moment: trust enough for confrontation Open the activityA good small group activity needs three things: a goal tied to the lesson or to the moment of the group, a length that fits the meeting, and a wrap-up that turns the activity into conversation. Start with a short story, create an activity everyone takes part in, and leave nobody just watching.
With visitors, what works is whatever forces nobody to expose themselves: a question anyone can answer without telling their life story, an activity that does not depend on knowing the church, and no introduction round. When in doubt, pick an activity marked “still getting to know each other”. That mark exists to protect whoever arrived today.
It also helps to assign one person in the group just to look after whoever arrived: welcome them at the door, sit beside them, explain what is going to happen before it happens. In a full meeting the leader cannot reach everyone, and it is exactly in the full meeting that a visitor feels least seen. The two marked that way in this area: The chair that stayed and The map of five.
The ones that expose someone who did not choose it, the ones that depend on reading or writing well in front of others, and the ones that take longer than the meeting can bear. Three examples that have been going around for years, and what to do instead of each one.
Each person gets a paper stuck on them with a flaw written on it, and the group talks to them according to the label. The pretty explanation at the end does not undo what the person felt during it, and whoever already feels left out walks away worse than they came in.
Instead: The part I play here, which deals with image and identity without sticking a flaw on anyone.
Everyone spends fifteen minutes on a drawing and is told to crumple it up and throw it away, to illustrate indifference. The point is true, but the price is embarrassing people on purpose, and whoever tried hardest feels it most.
Instead: a simple question about a time nobody valued something you did. It reaches the same place without sacrificing anyone.
Someone falls backwards with their eyes closed for the group to catch. It carries real physical risk, forces contact not everyone wants, and turns trust into a public test. Trust in a small group is built with constancy, not with a fall.
Instead: Two questions instead of one, which goes deeper without staging.
An icebreaker is a simple question, answered in about a minute per person, that opens the meeting and helps everyone relax. An activity is a complete exercise, with a development, a wrap-up and a closing, serving a goal of the group. Every icebreaker is short; not every activity is. In practice, the icebreaker is the smallest activity there is.
An icebreaker takes about a minute per person. A complete activity, between fifteen and twenty-five minutes. And do the maths beforehand: in a group of twelve, if each person speaks for five minutes, the opening alone eats an hour of the meeting. That is why every activity in this area shows its estimated time next to the materials.
In most churches it opens the meeting, because it prepares the group for what comes next. But the right place depends on the goal: a lighthearted activity works on arrival, and a reflective one lands better near the word, once the group has warmed up. What does not work is fitting one in out of obligation, with no connection to the evening.
No. The passage comes in when the parallel truly exists inside the text, and stays out when it would be mere decoration. A forced verse is worse than none: the group notices, and Scripture becomes an accessory. In this area some activities carry a passage and others do not, and that is a deliberate choice, not an oversight.
Give them permission to pass, without insisting and without staring. When the others finish, ask again, lightly: most people answer on the second chance. Whoever always refuses may need attention in private, not pressure in the circle. An activity exists to include, and forcing someone to take part produces the opposite.